Weekend getaway

A family weekend getaway to Port Dickson. 

It was so short (1 night and 2 days?) but at least road trips, hours of doing nothing but listening to music and thinking, looking out the windows, nature, spending time with family, reminiscing about the old road trips as a family when we were younger... gave me the rejuvenation I need, away from the City life.

The ones who always took care of us. Dad who always drives long hours without complaining. Mom who prepares food and takes care of the rubbish we pass to her (haha). We did that when we were much younger, shouldn't be doing that now as we should take care of our own rubbish. But the inner child in me still happily call out "Mummy, NAH!"

And she will give me the face but still accepts it anyway.

Not forgetting these mouth watering zichar. 

Zichar is always a must when in Malaysia.

It wasn't that nice with the haze and all, but it's still good :)

Things to be thankful for. 

crazy little random thought

I just need reminders every now and then. I'm good.

If destiny's meant to happen, it will happen.

You can't force it.

Neither can you prevent it.

Life can be a joke sometimes, but that's what makes it fun.

This vicious world might sharpen us like a blade, but whether we use that power to protect people or cause them pain, is always our choice.

Celebration of 1 year of adulthood

22 years of existence

1 year of adulthood

To many years more of living, bravery, and positivity.

You may not be loved in return, you may not be understood in return, but love and understand anyway.

It is a tough world out there.

Just feel kinda sad knowing about other people's misfortunes. I can feel their pain.

Sometimes I wish I could help these people in any way I can. But because I don't know how. The least I could do, is to spread happiness, to be honest and to lend helping hand to anyone who needs help. To be myself, to not be one of those people out there who get close to people with an end result they want to achieve in mind.

It really turns me off.

I realise I am who I am. What you see of me is what you get. I'm either too tired of having to put up a facade for others, or I am not receptive to the idea of being somebody else other than myself. People who know you long enough, will see through everything eventually. You are going to meet people from all walks of life, any time, any where. Don't you want someone to like you because you are you, and not because of the idea of you? Not because of the image you project to others. Which may not always be who you really are.

Life is so much simpler, being who you really are and with no pretenses. You'd feel so much happier and lighter too.

One of those things.

Things to be thankful for today:

• Earlier for work today, and completing my tasks
• Good times catching up with Pam and Jaron @ NTU (even though the cereal fish rice stall, which I travelled all the way from CBD for closed.....) Had nice western pasta and avocado milkshake
• Good times with old friends in general, good times talking about anything with old friends in general, happy to be with old friends :)
• Going back home to see that daddy and mummy prepared air purifier for us the day the haze went for a downturn.

This week will be better, and less tiring I hope! September is really fast, slow down babe!

*

“She’s the kind of girl a guy meets when he’s too young, and he fucks up because there’s too much living to do. But later he realizes she’s perfect.”

:(

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/09/tragedy-was-expected-at-norwegian-lookout-where-student-fell-to-her-death

A friend on facebook was sharing this and my heart literally plunged. Even when I read it again now, I still feel so scared because even though I didn't felt it then, I was so close to death. Not just this once, but there was also another close-to-death experience which we are so lucky to have survived. I think like what the article said, many people really underestimated the dangers of Trolltunga. We were not in any proper hiking gear (the experienced ones all brought hiking sticks (?) wore proper gear and stuffs) and all we had were hiking boots at the very least (which I'm so glad we got). Trolltunga became a super popular hiking destination 'cause of the spread on social media by people who did incredible stunts near the edge.

For one, I'm thankful I wasn't as crazy to want to do stunts. For seconds, I'm thankful I kinda know my limits and I really only went as far as I deemed safe for myself, and where I can still feel in touch with the ground.

That's literally the furthest I went, tiny me. Omg good job PJ for being scaredy cat in times like these. I cannot imagine how I will feel if I ..... *TOUCH WOOD*

To always be careful, even in the midst of fun and adventure.

One of those songs

Certain songs are triggers of nostalgia. They teleport you back to the good old times and moments that are heartwarming, leaving you with so many reasons to smile and be contented with what you've had the fortunate chance of experiencing.

And then time passes long enough, long enough that the happy feelings attached to these memories become too distant for you to feel the same. You miss that piece of memory so much, and that memory seem so far away and long ago from your current now, so unattainable. You turn from being contented with what you had, to being deprived of something you wish you could have again. Every single day forward is a drive to get closer and quicker to achieving that state of happiness again.

But on nights like these, when that particular song plays and it triggers first the good memories, I shudder at the aftermath of it, when missing something too much becomes too painful for me to say I'm contented.

And so you admit that you have to stop looking back. You have to tell yourself to never look back, and keep moving forward. Until one day, you'll notice how far you've come.

*

Don't feel very well-rested this weekend, but I'm gonna charge through. 

This weekend, I'm so thankful to have spent more quality time with my family. Last night, I had a nightmare that woke me up tearing at 5.51AM. It felt so real and I went to check on my family members to make sure it was just a dream. 

I had a thought, which I don't know if is true. But I think there will be a period in teens' lives, when they really honestly do not care much about their family because the individual himself is in the center of his life. It's inevitable? It's that self-centered phase of their lives which will come, when they are busy building themselves first and family is never their direct first priority. I think I used to have that phase when I'm much younger for a while, and I used to wonder why and couldn't figure out. But I'm glad now I know I'm way past that now, I'm glad I got over it and still returned to where I should be. It just scares me how some people may enter into that phase, and never come out of it. And really, it saddens me so much if they realise it too late.

Family is so important to me now, really appreciate every single precious moment I have with my parents especially. I realised I laughed so much more recently because of them. 

Ah I didn't like how i'm ending this weekend's post with such a negative vibe. (OK 1 fun thing that happened today: watching Maze Runner with my brothers!!! I love movies like these. It was amazing.)

But cheers to Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams for being the highlight of my weekend. One of my favourites of her after Blank Space, and one of my all-time favourite song. It's so... ethereal.

wildest dreams

Tuesday

See P, these are blessings in disguise.

In the financial context, an investment that you never had the patience and vision to see through.

Wednesday

One of the happier things today is to be able to talk about politics with my dad in such a light-hearted manner. I love how my Dad always simplifies life for me, and he always says, "take it easy, baby" for almost everything haha. And he says baby in a really funny and weird chinese accent that it sounds like 'behbee'. Never noticed all these till lately. With Dad around, I really appreciate the security and peace of mind, knowing that I do not have to worry too much. Really, and because of this, I have the opportunity to grow up on my own, make my own decisions. And so far, (ok a little random) but my dad is the only driver I know, who gives me enough assurance for me to sleep in peace in the car, without fear. Never appreciated this part of him that much before, but I realised I really appreciate it now :-) 

<3 Tomorrow is the last work day of the week!

Note to self

Dear P,

Stop over-worrying. So many times you are so hard on yourself because unknowingly you've compared yourself to your impressive peers, who are so ahead of you. And you compare yourself to society norms. You base your ability and potential on what majority of the people think is the fastest, the safest, the most straight forward path to success.

But what if you take all these external influences away.

What if you just listen to yourself, and compare yourself to yourself only? Are you happy with what you are doing? Are you contented with the rate that you're learning. Are you complacent with where you stand now? Are you better than who you were yesterday, 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago?

Yours sincerely,
From your dearest self.

*

Too many times we get sucked into the fast track in this train of life because admit it, it's the most sought after route afterall - the fastest way to get to your destination.

But fast is no longer what I'm looking for.
I am happy and I want to be setting the pace for my life. To really work hard and be a busy bee when I should be. And also to take breaks and play to my fullest when I need to be. I was quite demoralised to be honest, today. But then I thank myself for reflecting in the shower and coming up with all these self-talks that hey, I'm just over-worrying. If I put away all these artificial benchmarks, and if I were to judge myself based on how far I've come, I think I really am proud of myself to come this far, on my own. Through making mistakes and learning from it. Through learning things the hard way and losing some of the most precious things to me in my life. Through admitting my weaknesses and embracing them.Through finding my strengths and they become my confidence-boosters.

The worst thing that could happen, is that I do not get into those kind of big MNCs companies that everyone is aiming for and queuing up to get in. The worst that could happen is that I don't have that average graduate pay that majority are getting. (And then you realise, that all these are just society norms again, benchmarks again, credentials that sound good but will they work for you yourself in the long term? Will you be happy? Will you work well?)

And that is not a bad thing, if I'm perfectly fine with taking a few u-turns and a few long roads. As long as I make it eventually. Some people have to take the long road to learn something. Maybe I'm that kind of person. And always, there will be some good in your current position that you have, that others want so much but they can't have it. Think about how someone else might deserve what you have more than you do. Don't waste the life you've carved out. Make the best out of what is given to you.

Life is a high way. Some times you have more time, some times you have less time. Some times others are winning at life but you're totally sucking in it. But what matters most is you need to stay true to yourself and never stop believing in yourself.

Things will work out eventually. So stay positive, be of good cheer, be happy with yourself so that you can bring happiness to others.

But I like to think he may have at last found some small measure of peace, that we all seek, and few of us ever find.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/ellen-nguyen/2015/08/when-youre-the-person-who-never-quite-knows-how-to-let-go/? utm_content=buffer82a97&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer 

"Frankly, I don’t know. I might move on but I don’t know if I have ever fully let go of the people who have once made me feel alive, showing me how to be human. If anything, I might stop missing the person and the desire to tie my path to theirs, but I doubt that I would ever forget how much I appreciated the time I spent with them, the way they looked at me, cared for me, handing me a piece of them to hold on to, or the part of me that loved them, treasured them, changed because of them.

Perhaps, one day, I will come to feel neutral about him or any of those people, being genuinely happy for their happiness and keep in touch with them on good terms. Or maybe, I can never be sure about my feelings and my chest will again tighten at the sight of them with someone not me. But I guess it’s okay. It’s okay to never quite know how to let go, to carry with me the sentiments for the people who once crossed my path, to think of them now and then without having all the answers to why I feel what I feel. It’s okay as long as I don’t let it hold me back from enjoying my life and from the people who choose me and choose to make me happy.

After all, they had a part of me, for which they will always be here with me. And I will be with them too. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a gift for ever having found each other in this world of billions."

SUNDAY

Good sunday because there're good movies on HBO.

• The Bucket List
• Blood Diamond
• Seabiscuit
• The Da Vinci Code
• FINDING NEMO (hehehehe)

Turned on the the tv this afternoon and The Bucket List was already 2/3 gone. Based on that last 30 minutes or so I think it's my type of movie, shall watch it full one day. 

Blood Diamond, one of my brother's favorite and as much as Leonardo Dicaprio is my all-time favorite for so many years, it just isn't mine. I think it just makes me sad that there is some truth to it and it just ... well. And my brother told me how he picked up the African accent in the movie, which I haven't really realised the past few times when I watched it. How cool and talented is that? And he acted with a different accent without losing his authentic Leonardo-ness. Leonardo Dicaprio is my all-time favorite actor, makes me question myself who's my all-time favorite actress? A good to-do for the next few months for me to find out.

Seabiscuit - a true story of the undersized Depression-era racehorse whose victories lifted the spirits of the team behind it and also gripped the heart of their nation. (from the info bar)

I'm a sucker for movies based on/adapted from true life events.

And yeah, I need to finish reading my book because once again, the due date has passed hahaha.

And omg i just got bitten by mozzies. I HATE MOZZIES!!!

*

Anyway I really enjoy great movies. Everytime I watch a good one, it makes me believe that there is a greater, grander and more complete mean of life than what I have here in Singapore. It's not a criticism that what I have here in Singapore is not enough. But knowing that other versions of life exist, I myself wish that I could live them here within the limits of Singapore because it makes me feel like I'm living more like a human. Experiencing the multi-facets that life has to offer. Most of which are simple and free. For example, I really love nature and if we have a countryside with abundance of nature, wild animals and flora and fauna... mountains and waterfalls... people who are indigenous... I would be very happy, and I know that whenever I need to wind down from the city life, there's a place I can retreat to. A place that's free from all these and is peaceful. I can spend money to take a train to all these. Or if I have time to spare, I can take buses or walk myself. Such simple retreats of living are pretty affordable and attainable to everyone, but in Singapore, we usually have to pay money, or venture overseas to enjoy the same basic thing. It's the lack of all these which I think many people are travelling out. It's all about feeling free.

Okay I don't know what I've just typed. But okay BYE I have some errands to run. May the second week of September continue to be great :)

September's my month

Hehehehehe weekends are here :)

More than a year ago, I left Singapore and began life in beautiful Norway. A country I barely knew much of. I thought by now, I would have been so excited to be nostalgic and do a 1 year anniversary kind of thing. But surprisingly I didn't. Is it because I'm too busy? Is it because I'm growing up haha and some things are better left like that. Till a better time comes again. 

Who knows? 

But whenever I'm in need of some happy vibes, I know I can always go back to my million of photos and memories and they never fail to bring a smile to my face.

Today's gonna be fun 'cause I'm going to USS.

I chanced upon this on the train commute to work this week. 

Finally watched it today because it appeared on my newsfeed again and it got me like......

Hahaha okay back to my song of the month:

Inspirational, knowledge and wisdom, motivation

Thursday night @ holland with the girls <3

:') surprise postcard

Thursday / Impromptu girls' night out: korean bbq + drinks

One of the gains I had out of the loss was sharing. Sharing unknowingly, helps me learn how to talk and open up to people quite easily. It's been a long long time since I felt awkward when meeting new people. I actually do enjoy the conversations that I have once in a while with different people. It keeps my mind alive and alert, eager to know more, pique my interests. Basically happy and inspired all the time.

"You're a keeper." You don't know how much hearing that surprised me.