Parallels

It was a vulnerable moment for me. When you're in that moment, you feel like you're being seen by everyone. And then when you lose it, you feel invisible... devasted. Whether you ignore it, whether you live your life, whether you get back to another situation, you have to like, have those low moments to appreciate the high moments.

I was 15, 16 (17,18, 19)... like what do I know about life? Like what do I know. By all means, I don't have life figured out, but I definitely have lived a lot of lives. I still have my moments of insecurity, but I feel like I have pulled myself up and this is the best I have ever felt in my whole life. And I feel great, I feel confident, I feel comfortable. You've got to choose to have a good outlook of life... I don't know. I just think I had to do that.

I really wanna prove a point with this record (phase of my life). Safe to say this is the most authentic record (self) I've ever done (been)."

Who inspires me? Life experiences.
I'm not sure if that's considered a who though.

Selena Gomez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLZOjKd4agY

In the quietest moments, I give up.

Wow?

http://selgomez-news.com/post/133685038945/parisorfaloaf-my-cousin-was-sitting-a-few

It was a coincidence that their news popped up the past week and then it caught my interest.
And I was just looking through their interviews and everything, and I was just thinking that... their honesty and everything made me feel that they really do love each other.

And then today this popped up, and the hype and everything
Slightly earlier than I expected? I was still thinking that I MAY ship Jelena if you give me a couple of months but it's all too fast.
It also doesn't mean they will get back together.

That video, is really one of the sweetest sweetest thing I've ever seen.

I was never a fan of Selena Gomez until maybe the second half of 2014?
'The heart wants what it wants' used to be my go-to song in my kitchen back in Hatleberg, and times when I feel I need some strength, when I need to hear something that I can relate to.

I really love all her songs in her new Revival album.
Like, everything about it. The mood, the groove, the beats, the energy, the message.

Have you ever been so happy from the inside that you need to jump a little or skip a few steps or scream it out loud or just laugh really really hard without restraint? The kind of happiness within so intense that you have to do something physical like sprint so fast or leap with joy to diffuse some of it out otherwise you'd burst with too much happiness.

Our story, lies parallel and has the same nature as S&J.

Closely similar time frame, closely similar lessons learnt.

And hopefully, closely similar circumstances.

Today has been pretty intense. Mentally and spiritually.

More than average exchange of ideas and new perspectives.
I'm a little intimidated and demoralised at a particular path of life I'm in now. Feeling demoralised because of the things I have been missing out on due to reasons I did not ask for, but have to learn how to embrace and improvise.

That's one of the bigger lessons I've learnt these years I guess. Learning to accept and embrace what I'm given, and to have faith in the way things pan out. Stormy weathers don't last. And there will come a time when the sun comes out again. And when it does, those who've been through the storm will better appreciate the good.

There can be a lot of good in this world, if you can just open your eyes and see with your own heart.

And if there is a biggest lesson to be learnt, I think I'm glad at how much more open-minded I've become. Because I see life so much differently, with so much enthusiasm, humor and inspiration now.

12 November 2015
Still got that radiance.

Just be.

"It was the beginning, the middle, and the end. It was a year of becomings; of finding myself on the other side and not knowing how i got there."

离别是短暂的，友情会永远留在我们的心里。

*

Here and there, once in a while, I still carry with me the remnants of the broken pieces of my heart because it is a reminder that my heart once felt so strongly about something, and it has ached so badly too because of that something.

I still miss all of that, I still feel a little ache sometimes when I'm reminded of what I've lost too, caught unknowingly. But today for the first time, I feel this strong urge to not look at what I've lost, but to rejoice in the fact of what had happened. We happened.

Last year on exchange, I posted an instagram post with the caption of "Smile because beautiful things happened''. The original quote had a second part in front, which goes like "Don't cry because it has ended ... Smile because it happened." But I omitted the first part. No doubt, I was referring to this same thing, and also about my whole exchange journey as well.

It made a lot of sense to me back then, and it gave me a lot of enlightenment back then.
And today I wanna remind myself of that again, to be thankful and grateful because those were some of the best periods of my life, and I should smile because I feel lucky that they happened to me.

You were part of some of the best times of my life, and for that I'll always be thankful.