How have you been?

23 May 2015 Saturday

#sunNUS2015 was a rainy one this year. It sucks a little 'cause I was so looking forward to getting tanned under the big bright sun! #teamkampongkias even brought more than one bottle of sunblock for everyone as we are ready to be burnt by the sun. We also brought socks in case our bare feet will hurt from the burning sand. I brought aloe vera too 'cause I didn't want that episode of super bad sunburnt I had from MBS this valentine's day to repeat. It's hilarious how we didn't even use any of it!

It was really fun to be back on the beach and playing captain's ball with old friends. We played quite a few games against others and even though they were short spurts of 8 minutes, it can get really tiring and intense sometimes. That adrenaline rush feels pretty great! I still think I feel closer to myself when doing something active, like playing sports. Hehe I think we played pretty well together for about 4 games? and even though we lost the first knockout game #suay? I still think we're a pretty good team. At least we've got some time to join the fringe events :3

I love the fringe events omg like yay to paddle boating and kayaking! I first tried on the solo kayak and omg I didn't know I was in a super wobbly one until the person told me after I've already sat inside it. I was too lazy to get out and wait for another one so I just tried my best to balance and kayak around haha it was niceeee. The rest of the guys had the double kayaks so it feels pretty nice.
Then I tried paddle boating and the first time round it was pretty scary! But what's the worst that can happen right? You'll just get wet and that's it, and maybe also a few gulps of seawater. Hehe once I got over that paddle boating became much easier! And it's actually quite easy and super shiok once you get the hang of it. Beyond that, I laughed so much it hurts and I had to fall back in the waters sometimes, and laugh some more.

:)

I've never hated myself for the body that I'm born with. I've been consistently hitting the gym every week since the start of 2015, doing short runs and light weights. I told myself my body is good, it just needs a bit of work and effort. I know that it will never look lean/petite/slender naturally and I just need to work my body type to its optimum. But lately I feel that I probably can't reach that stage. I will still keep trying though.

:)

This is the #11 thing.
I am speechless, about why all these still happen? That we are in the same event, on the same day, in the SAME fixtures group, and playing against each other in the first game. There are 30 over teams in captain's ball and what are the chances that we'll be paired to play against each other? This could be fate, and if it isn't, I don't know what it is.

All that I know is that it is an unfamiliar form of experience to be able to see you again even in bits and pieces of time.
But at the same time I am sad that I can't even talk to you, not even ask you how have you been?
I was on the brink of breaking all these silences that's been here for so long, just to ask how you are. But would you have liked that I do that? Would it be best for us?

This could be one amazing opportunity that I've to let go, because I think the time isn't right. For you.
I have so much to feel. I feel sad. Maybe I lost the key. Maybe this is the right thing to do. I know I am more courageous than before, but maybe this requires even more.
But I think you'll have the peace you need without me saying anything.
And I pray and hope that this is the mature right decision for us both. 

When we first shook hands after our game you didn't even look at me.
But thank you for saying hi to me. I really appreciate it.