in between reports and presentation slides

The idea... that you spend your 20s in jobs that relate to your fervent passions during those times, before spending the next decade in your 30s settling down in a more stable job... is quite an ideal. 

It is really therapeutic and productive to do work while listening to Korean Drama instrumentals, especially the historical ones.

messy post but i'm too tired to do anything about it

Feeling really conflicted that I really want to jot down all the thoughts I have today during TEA and after TEA... so many memories that I wanna hold on to BUT I HAVE A FRIGGING EXAM TOMORROW. On. A. Saturday.

I don't have so much time and all I could do is to cherish the few photos that I had? I didn't even have the energy to push for more photos for memories' sake. I just soaked in everything. Everything felt like a blur to me and I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't so tied down I would leave the hotel light-hearted than heavy hearted.

Actually I've been feeling happy all these while until towards the end they called for all graduating seniors. I feel really thankful and appreciative of Eusoff for making me feel welcome and for recognising me? Some random year 4 who joined hall in her last semester probably can't contribute much to Hall... but I really didn't expect all the kindness and openness the people here are. I definitely received much more than I thought.

I just snapped photos of the farewell gift from Eusoff... Quickest way to preserve a memory. I'm very sad to say I can try as much to remember what happened today. The regrets. The blessings. The reflections. The realisation that it's also time to grow up and behave more like adults.

Thank you eusoff for everything. Thank you SL for being the reason why I could even get in here. Thank you all my eusoff friends for making me feel at home. I'll definitely miss this and I had regretted not meeting you guys earlier.

Really so sian that this course is so taxing and deadlines are unforgiving.

I really could have had a better student life if there were even a 10% decrease in workload for each module.

Still, thank you eusoff and really a wonderful job well done to the committees. It's super hard work but you guys sacrificed so much for the so many of us. I wish that you feel our appreciation and that we recognise it.

If you give your body sufficient rest, your mind and body will do what you want it to do without much effort. So please take more long breaks.

I love my family very much

I was updating my monthly calendar for the remaining semester and for the month of May. And suddenly I'm missing my parents a lot and it made me sentimental and sad.

I'm gonna be away from home for almost the entire month of May. And looking at the amount of time I have remaining to catch up with my family over the times I spent in Hall... it's so sad :-( I don't remember missing my parents this much when I was on exchange, so this whole semester in hall, I really wondered over why. Is it that my mind was on a lot of other things then? Is it that after 2015 I grew closer to my family and I cherish them even more maybe that's why? I just really wished I knew better to give a bit more buffer time.

Every now and then thoughts that I am actually not very young anymore and my parents have worked so hard for not one, not two but at least three decades to bring my brothers and I up well keep creeping up. Thoughts that they are not very young too anymore and if they're not able to enjoy the sights they want to see, the places they want to explore, then when??? It should be their time now.

And for that I feel incredibly helpless that I can only help share their burden after they've raised me for twenty over years. Such hard work and dedication to be parents. Part of this motivates me even harder to do well and to reach as far as I could go, to give them the good life they deserve. So yeah, stop complaining over school PPJ.

I realised, and I am guilty of spending an exceptionally larger amount of money this year over a variety of things. I hope they are worthwhile investments that will help me to help my loved ones. I think it will. Even if it doesn't I will make it worthwhile.

Maybe I'm being a little stressed 'cause next week is gonna be the hellest of hell, and being extra paranoia but i'm just gonna touch wood and pray that nothing bad will happen while I'm not with my family. That's really the last thing I want.

If anything ever happens, whoever read this please tell my family how much I love them and that I'm very proud to be my parents' daughter. I hope they are proud of me too. My mummy for being so knowledgeable about what's good for our health and for always providing us the nutrients we need to grow well, for being so zai in Chinese that I credit my As in chinese and higher chinese to her too... My baba for doting on me the most, maybe it's a father-daughter and mother-son thing. For being behind all of us, supporting us silently with no complaints. I've never seen another guy/man who can take on hardships and problems independently as much as him. To my brothers, for always standing behind me always and tolerating this big sister no matter what.

Lastly, I'm gonna sleep soon because I am not going to spoil this body of mine that my parents painstakingly nurtured and took care of even before I was born. Like it's so stupid of me I realise... to always stay up so late doing work and probably killing so so so many brain cells and all the cognitive memory stuffs which will cost me in the long run. It's so not cherishing my own body and health, the greatest wealth we can ever have.

When I have children next time I will definitely emphasis healthy and wholesome living.

The older I get, the cuter they get. 

I love you all very much 爸爸妈咪 <3

And of course my annoying brothers <3

• In the next three years, I think both music and silence will be a constant in my life.
• I think there has been a a lot of advancements in technology, social media and online retails the past 4 years. Over this weekend I noticed that in some areas, I have not even caught up with the advancements. I hope that when I have more time I will explore them and make good use of the increased productivity and improvements they can add to my life

Just a self-reminder that I'm still 22, and still a bit more to 23. So much can change from the time I graduate. And I am really, still very young.

Don't worry, and have faith :-)

I think it's important to periodically meet new people and exchange conversations with them. It need not be long conversations nor deep ones, and it doesn't matter how random the topic is. But it is important because it helps us understand the changes that we have gone through ourselves, which only new people whom we don't meet often can pick these little nuances out. The people whom you stick with everyday may not be able to see that change in you, may not make you realise that you've changed, and may sometimes take that change for granted.

Just had this thought on the way home due to a brief conversation I had with my neighbie before I left hall. She gave me this big compliment in the middle of our conversation that stunned me for a while.

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Anyway something has been hovering around my mind these few weeks... maybe irritatingly? I just want to remind myself to let all these go through you but don't let external noise and turbulences affect the core of who I really am and what I believe in. It's easy to be swayed in times of chaos and uncertainty but stick to your beliefs and values and you will be fine. There is no shame in being who you really are. Be proud of it, because if you don't who else will?

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And my hell week is starting again... and I guess it will last all the way till the end of finals, which means the end of my undergraduate life. #feels

I love doing laundry because it always makes my room smell so frigging nice! :-)