I don't remember being this sad the past few times but I think this time, it's harder because we spent much more time together in particular. Going to Tioman and JB together... Jess sleeping over at our house for many days (and we literally wake up, eat, play sims, sleep... it's such a simple and probably mundane and mindless thing for you but it brought me and her so much pure happiness. Just sitting next to each other playing our favourite game)... going to the zoo and night safari with J & UN... and like what J said, also probably because she is much older now and we can talk about things.
:-( sigh I'm missing this time already.
And I know I am sad because in a very short time, it will not be easy for me anymore, to just drop everything and then fly to England to find them like how I used to be able to. My freedom is coming to an end, and with new responsibilities and commitments which I promise to keep to, I can no longer be that carefree anymore.
Sometimes I still feel that I am quite young and there's so much about life to be explored. Sometimes I still feel that I'm too young to be pushed into the working society like everyone else, and probably exchange our precious youth to gain more experiences that will lead us further longer down the road. Because somehow in me, I truly feel that I am young. Still healthy and active enough to experience more things... rather than just sitting in offices or cabbing around to meet clients. I think that's one of the contradictions. We are so young and healthy and carefree, and should use this gift of our body to explore and put our physical body to good use. I can't think of any good example right now, except travelling. 'Cause travelling can be such a test on your physical strength sometimes, with little sleep and long walks and heavy luggages/bagpacks to lug around... And it's one of those things that I believe will always be worth it, no matter how young you are.
Sacrifices ain't it? But for one, I will definitely give my all and do my best in my new job. Even though I had serious thoughts about exploring otherwise long time ago, and I have options to explore... I reckon I can't explore otherwise without giving myself this chance to give it a final shot. At least if eventually I decided that it isn't for me, I can then run towards my dreams whole-heartedly, with no reservations but pure determination and passion.
Just like my dear cousin, Jess :) Who showed me that you can be happy and have it all when you follow your passion. I wished her all the best in her new school (a creative and performing arts school), and she replied a simple "I'm sure I will enjoy it very much". And then I thought, when was the last time when I could tell myself confidently that I will definitely enjoy my new school very much? Or enjoy what I'm studying very much?
I will believe there's a reason behind my not-being-able to enjoy the same fate somehow. I will believe in the great weirdness of life, as always, and be thankful that I can learn more about that life through her. I'll be contented.
May she grow to become a true star.
Quote of this phase: You've gotta love life, because you never know what's around the corner.
As inspired from the words from Uncle Nick.
Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart for being so generous with all your love for us cousins, and especially for your Jessica. You showed me what true happy kids should be, and deserve to be like. And I'm thankful to be able to feel that way again this summer. May you always be a child at heart, willing and courageous to try new things and play hard. And also to my aunt, for her unwavering determination to keep fit and her unlimited laughter at things, whether big or small.
And also... to always remember the simplicity of life. I noticed that technology and social media is such a small thing in their lives, as compared to Singaporeans. Both my uncle and aunt don't own a mobile phone. My cousin owns one but she is also never active on social media. She does keep close to her closest group of friends, and spend her other time watching videos that bring her laughter and joy or anything that relates to her passion.
I guess this is a timely reminder for me too. Because once in a while I do forget how to live the way I should be, and get overwhelmed by technology and noisy social media.
And also... to always remember the simplicity of life. I noticed that technology and social media is such a small thing in their lives, as compared to Singaporeans. Both my uncle and aunt don't own a mobile phone. My cousin owns one but she is also never active on social media. She does keep close to her closest group of friends, and spend her other time watching videos that bring her laughter and joy or anything that relates to her passion.
I guess this is a timely reminder for me too. Because once in a while I do forget how to live the way I should be, and get overwhelmed by technology and noisy social media.
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