right where it started / 2016

February 2016

January till February was the IHG period. It is the most exciting part of Semester 2 because that's when competitions for the various sports occur every other day. I remember very fondly of this, because the atmosphere was really sizzling within hall and at the venues. Very lucky to move in to hall right where all the action just began and very lucky that even though I don't know a lot of people, I have Shar, the Sports Director (!!!) as my neighbour. Thanks to her I get to watch more games than I could have without her.

IHG Closing Ceremony. The road relays were so nerve wracking because we are just so close to being the Hall Champion, depending on the placings of both the guys and girls. It's been such a long time since I supported sports matches, in this case I was screaming for runners who I don't even know (lol), but I still gave my all anyway. Oh and nothing can beat that Handball Finals (guys) goal that caused there to be at least 1 overtime. I think there were 2 overtimes in total. How sick is that! That atmosphere is really one of my favorite. We were all so happy that we just screamed and shouted and laughed continuously. I got so excited I actually jumped up from the floor from where I was sitting lololol. (omg sound so lame sia me)

Even though we lost just by only a few points, (I was actually beside our Hall President when he was counting the scores), I feel really happy to be a part of all these. This sports scene and competitions and sense of unity... made me feel like home and reminded me of my Jurong basketball days. What a wonderful way to start my semester!

hehe sharky <3 very thankful that we get to be friends and we broke the ice pretty easily thanks to SL!

Some random day where I went to the back to fix my ice cream craving. And maybe to lighten up my bad day. (usually too lazy to go get ice cream unless I really need it)

10S26's Valentines' Day Year XLB Affair <3

Chinese New Year, and the cutest child ever. He's SUCH a happy kid and it makes me happy

Look at my brother and cousins photobombing my photo

HIIT. Never underestimate 20 minutes. I almost died. 'Cause too intense since the last intense session.

Valentine's Day roses from my neighbies <3

Komal from Ottawa, Canada. Today marks the last day we will see each other :( Can't quite believe it when I knew it yesterday after my paper. It was so sudden I didn't have the time to really let it sink. AH I hate that this will likely become more common in the future. Anyway, really thankful for all the things we've taught each other. 

Block head! I don't think I'll ever get to know the block head if not for the fact that we are in the same course. Really little things like this. Serendipity.

When Nat and Pris both came :)

Eusoff Bash | Komal & Hein from Korea

Some snaps from my usual walk back to hall from Biz

Get-together when Lucinda came back to SG <3

"Beautiful things come out of horrible situations. I know for a fact. Out of sadness you get a new found wisdom on how the world can look with a haze of gray clouds, how people can be senseless, how you can see the whole universe in a whole new way. And that may be hard to handle, hard to cope, hard to accept, but it is so damn beautiful if you really take the chance to realise. Out of anger, you can feel your heart beat race, with every beat it is shaking your whole being and not only the heavy steps you take. It is when you, your whole self and some power is telling you that you are alive. And that is amazing in every angle. Out of anything there is something in there that makes it incredible. Something that makes it shine. Whatever you feel is potent and it is such a blessing to be able to feel what you feel. You just have to think about it."

in between reports and presentation slides

The idea... that you spend your 20s in jobs that relate to your fervent passions during those times, before spending the next decade in your 30s settling down in a more stable job... is quite an ideal. 

It is really therapeutic and productive to do work while listening to Korean Drama instrumentals, especially the historical ones.

messy post but i'm too tired to do anything about it

Feeling really conflicted that I really want to jot down all the thoughts I have today during TEA and after TEA... so many memories that I wanna hold on to BUT I HAVE A FRIGGING EXAM TOMORROW. On. A. Saturday.

I don't have so much time and all I could do is to cherish the few photos that I had? I didn't even have the energy to push for more photos for memories' sake. I just soaked in everything. Everything felt like a blur to me and I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't so tied down I would leave the hotel light-hearted than heavy hearted.

Actually I've been feeling happy all these while until towards the end they called for all graduating seniors. I feel really thankful and appreciative of Eusoff for making me feel welcome and for recognising me? Some random year 4 who joined hall in her last semester probably can't contribute much to Hall... but I really didn't expect all the kindness and openness the people here are. I definitely received much more than I thought.

I just snapped photos of the farewell gift from Eusoff... Quickest way to preserve a memory. I'm very sad to say I can try as much to remember what happened today. The regrets. The blessings. The reflections. The realisation that it's also time to grow up and behave more like adults.

Thank you eusoff for everything. Thank you SL for being the reason why I could even get in here. Thank you all my eusoff friends for making me feel at home. I'll definitely miss this and I had regretted not meeting you guys earlier.

Really so sian that this course is so taxing and deadlines are unforgiving.

I really could have had a better student life if there were even a 10% decrease in workload for each module.

Still, thank you eusoff and really a wonderful job well done to the committees. It's super hard work but you guys sacrificed so much for the so many of us. I wish that you feel our appreciation and that we recognise it.

If you give your body sufficient rest, your mind and body will do what you want it to do without much effort. So please take more long breaks.

I love my family very much

I was updating my monthly calendar for the remaining semester and for the month of May. And suddenly I'm missing my parents a lot and it made me sentimental and sad.

I'm gonna be away from home for almost the entire month of May. And looking at the amount of time I have remaining to catch up with my family over the times I spent in Hall... it's so sad :-( I don't remember missing my parents this much when I was on exchange, so this whole semester in hall, I really wondered over why. Is it that my mind was on a lot of other things then? Is it that after 2015 I grew closer to my family and I cherish them even more maybe that's why? I just really wished I knew better to give a bit more buffer time.

Every now and then thoughts that I am actually not very young anymore and my parents have worked so hard for not one, not two but at least three decades to bring my brothers and I up well keep creeping up. Thoughts that they are not very young too anymore and if they're not able to enjoy the sights they want to see, the places they want to explore, then when??? It should be their time now.

And for that I feel incredibly helpless that I can only help share their burden after they've raised me for twenty over years. Such hard work and dedication to be parents. Part of this motivates me even harder to do well and to reach as far as I could go, to give them the good life they deserve. So yeah, stop complaining over school PPJ.

I realised, and I am guilty of spending an exceptionally larger amount of money this year over a variety of things. I hope they are worthwhile investments that will help me to help my loved ones. I think it will. Even if it doesn't I will make it worthwhile.

Maybe I'm being a little stressed 'cause next week is gonna be the hellest of hell, and being extra paranoia but i'm just gonna touch wood and pray that nothing bad will happen while I'm not with my family. That's really the last thing I want.

If anything ever happens, whoever read this please tell my family how much I love them and that I'm very proud to be my parents' daughter. I hope they are proud of me too. My mummy for being so knowledgeable about what's good for our health and for always providing us the nutrients we need to grow well, for being so zai in Chinese that I credit my As in chinese and higher chinese to her too... My baba for doting on me the most, maybe it's a father-daughter and mother-son thing. For being behind all of us, supporting us silently with no complaints. I've never seen another guy/man who can take on hardships and problems independently as much as him. To my brothers, for always standing behind me always and tolerating this big sister no matter what.

Lastly, I'm gonna sleep soon because I am not going to spoil this body of mine that my parents painstakingly nurtured and took care of even before I was born. Like it's so stupid of me I realise... to always stay up so late doing work and probably killing so so so many brain cells and all the cognitive memory stuffs which will cost me in the long run. It's so not cherishing my own body and health, the greatest wealth we can ever have.

When I have children next time I will definitely emphasis healthy and wholesome living.

The older I get, the cuter they get. 

I love you all very much 爸爸妈咪 <3

And of course my annoying brothers <3

• In the next three years, I think both music and silence will be a constant in my life.
• I think there has been a a lot of advancements in technology, social media and online retails the past 4 years. Over this weekend I noticed that in some areas, I have not even caught up with the advancements. I hope that when I have more time I will explore them and make good use of the increased productivity and improvements they can add to my life

Just a self-reminder that I'm still 22, and still a bit more to 23. So much can change from the time I graduate. And I am really, still very young.

Don't worry, and have faith :-)

I think it's important to periodically meet new people and exchange conversations with them. It need not be long conversations nor deep ones, and it doesn't matter how random the topic is. But it is important because it helps us understand the changes that we have gone through ourselves, which only new people whom we don't meet often can pick these little nuances out. The people whom you stick with everyday may not be able to see that change in you, may not make you realise that you've changed, and may sometimes take that change for granted.

Just had this thought on the way home due to a brief conversation I had with my neighbie before I left hall. She gave me this big compliment in the middle of our conversation that stunned me for a while.

*

Anyway something has been hovering around my mind these few weeks... maybe irritatingly? I just want to remind myself to let all these go through you but don't let external noise and turbulences affect the core of who I really am and what I believe in. It's easy to be swayed in times of chaos and uncertainty but stick to your beliefs and values and you will be fine. There is no shame in being who you really are. Be proud of it, because if you don't who else will?

*

And my hell week is starting again... and I guess it will last all the way till the end of finals, which means the end of my undergraduate life. #feels

I love doing laundry because it always makes my room smell so frigging nice! :-)

week 10

it's week 10 already. school passed by so fast, my life too. 

• Finished my 4th presentation of this semester, 2 more to go. I really am so sick of presentations :( 
• 3 quizzes and 1 project for valuation so far, 1 quiz and 1 final to go
• 1 project and midterm for financial markets so far, 1 final to go
• 1 midterm and 1 project for MPC so far, 1 final to go
• 1 tutorial for corp gov so far, 1 project and 1 final to go
• 1 tutorial for corp law so far, 1 more tutorial and final to go

*

I would say it's a good kind of busy. I was reading through my archives, and saw my post in January about how I told myself I don't need Hall to make my last semester in NUS better. Look at how I did the opposite and went to apply for Hall and accepted the offer one day before the official first day of school. Moving in in the first week of school, cleaning up and making this space feel like home. Learning to adapt to this foreign community with new faces and to learn to fit in with informal rules and social norms. It's pretty refreshing and I really cherish this experience. I really have no regrets.

It also helped me cherish my family more, and it's became more apparent how much they love me too. Driving me to school and helping me with moving for the first few weekends. Bringing me food and tonics from home or from work even though it may not be the most convenient. Offering to fetch me home or send me back to school no matter what time. Always calling me home for the weekend because they want me to eat well and spend more time at home... Something happened on sunday and monday but i'm just all glad that everything is well and even better <3

If there's one thing I wish could be better... it's about my energy and productivity level. I thought that living in hall would help me be less stressed over schoolwork 'cause the time saved from travelling from school to home would have given me more time to study. But I still feel everything is just bam bam bam. Not too sure if it's 'cause this basket of modules that I'm taking is either the toughest, or the second toughest out of everything else. So I do feel a little sad over not being able to balance as much as I wanted. Had that tiny hope that my final semester can allow me to say: I finally conquered all these school stress and what a great lesson learnt.

Anyway I realised that I have many thoughts and revelations during my time here, and I wished I had recorded them more regularly on my blog. In those moments I told myself that when I have more time I will update and consolidate all of them all at one shot. But now I realised, that when some moments have passed, it had passed and maybe it should be left that way. I can try to recall, but part of me don't want to.

I really like having all these thoughts I had here. Conversations with my neighbours during late nights have gone much deeper than I expected, it was more than i can ask for and I just wanna be thankful for the friendships forged and people I've crossed paths with. One semester may not be enough for me to forge friendships as strong as I'd like, but I really am thankful for the people I've met. It's the little things that touches me.

Can't imagine not having lived this part of life.

:')