start of something new

Anchoring my opinion that money spent to buy experiences will always be worth it. Hope this helps in my future decision-makings because I am often a pendulum when it comes to crucial decisions. Just think about whether this experience can be re-lived again in the future? If the answer is no, go for it. If yes, can it be re-lived in the way you want it now?

And oh, I think I'm slowly defining an experience as something that spans for at least 4 months. Anything less than that, can be so easily overturned.

Oh, came across this band Coasts and i'm lovin' their vibes.

*

“Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you should stay with them or that you’re good together by any means. Sometimes the greatest act of loving someone is walking away to give them a better opportunity to be who they are.”

"She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice, it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

my dream

This. Spells. My. Dream.

that glossy waters where they kayaked, the beautiful mountain landscapes and hiking moments.

*teary-eyed full of happiness*



http://www.buzzfeed.com/sheridanwatson/oh-my-norway#.reKMmG5we for more

that wedding video is so full of feels too

SAMUEL + HILDEGUNN // Normandy, France from Heart Visuals on Vimeo.

missing and loving norway so much.

but it seems like everytime i return, my perspectives become tinted again and again

this feelin' can kill me. ah.

shower thoughts /

sometimes you realise some wounds will never heal and you just learn to live with it.
so never hurt someone and leave that wound open for so long.

also, had the most mind-blowing seminar today wew. half the time i'm raising my eyebrows and really questioning if the lecturer actually said what she said.

gonna take a good break today, day 2 iz intense but this sem is exciting.

 

*

edit /

um. i read this today. http://www.goodybooks.com/asingaporelovestory/asingaporelovestorychapter1/

i've seen advertisements/sharings on my facebook newsfeed before quite some time ago but I never clicked on it to know more. i just thought it wouldn't be to my liking and i thought it would be cliche.

but now i'm feeling so much even though i did not get to read the full story. i have a strong feeling it's because the start of the story was based in my very own 'hometown' - Jurong. And the secondary school featured is my secondary school. Reading that whole part was so nolstagic when the author referenced the different parts of the place i used to know so well so well. it was particularly emotional because i can picture the girl in that grey uniform, with our lower sec -> tucked out and upper sec -> tucked in rule. i also felt that i can relate to the story because unlike other reading experience when i picture a figure without a face in my mind, this time i can put a face to the figure.

it brought back so much memories of my secondary school and days when love is a sweet wonderful all-consuming affair.

too much feels. it's all in the tiny details.
too much.

*

omg feeling feverish alr why huh

I promise accounting textbooks are the best sleep-inducers.
To add on, their pages are also uncoloured so you'll definitely fall into a sleep trance instantly in the abyss of black and white paragraphs after paragraphs.

what if all of that was to protect you

Lovin ma new tab feature :-)

Productivity from tomorrow onwards gogogo. Tomorrow (technically tues) is the start of my last semester in NUS. Mixed feelings, I never got really happy about Uni for some weird reasons. I probably am not living it right and it sucks to know that HA. "You don't have to join hall to have an awesome Uni life." Have been convincing myself that because I am not so fortunate to experience it in NUS during my freshmen years. I never felt that it was that crucial. Until over the years...

• When I can only look with envy at people who reach their room within minutes after class while I travel 45 minutes back home. 
• When I look green-eyed at people who had so much fun & gatherings & supper nights with their new found friends like life has never been better, while I go home and yeah be oba-ma-self. 
• When I see the numerous activities you can join and explore, and I nod in agreement to myself thinking 'Wow that lifestyle totally suits me because I am definitely the kind who will join everything and have fun even though it's god damn exhausting." Plus I'm the kind of person who thrives in a truly bonded community, where there is somewhere you belong.

Alright staph! I definitely believe it's all in how you play your cards so whether or not I have that Hall card it ain't gonna be that pre-requisite to a wonderful Uni life yo. They each come with their own basket of woes too. So count your blessings gurl!

I think I've grown a little more extroverted in 2015 but now I feel like i'm slowly growing back to my introverted self.

Still yet to find out if it's my own problem or it really is as it is. Tomorrow I shall find out for myself! Have a feeling it's not just my own problem. I just feel like something isn't right.

I love Jay Chou songs. So cultured.

Some article that I read the past week. It has stayed in my tab bar for damn long and now I want to close it but don't know where to put it so... here:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/madeline-forsyth/2016/01/9-ways-to-know-for-sure-whether-youre-actually-in-love/

To join or not to join. Biggest question today.

This whole week I have no idea why I'm having sleeps with weird dreams. I hope it goes away it's kind of irritating.

A really weird dream too before I woke up today. 

But my mind drifted off to somewhere else and now I really am feeling the love for KOREA once again. Ever since I didn't get it as my exchange destination, I think my love went more to Norway and Europe.

But now I'm getting it back already, my first love. 

Can't wait to visit it again? 

playing with words

"And going on with this animalistic alliteration, I think already after the first round I began panting like a panther. I was so tempted to cheat like a cheetah but the goddamn PE teacher was watching like a walrus and somehow I feel even worse when I've finished running, gasping like a gazelle and my voice hoarse as a horse."

Found this written in one of my old notebooks in 2008? Not written by me but definitely caught my attention. So clever!

my retreat

Through the years of growing up and finding myself, now everything begins to make more sense.

I had a blog since I was 13/14, started blogging consistently throughout that 4 years in JSS. Then came JC which was so intense that I lost touch with blogging for a long while. Then came that 7 months of holiday before College. I think that was the period I tried to get it back and it was half successful, half not. It just felt really weird then to me, and I couldn't find peace with it and continue writing for long.

Guess it took me a few years to finally be at peace with my blog, how it resonates with my current state of mind, whether it represents me. I also went through a couple of blog names and hosts, mostly triggered by the difference phases of life I've experienced.

I guess it was that age too that I discovered tumblr and pinterest. I've stuck to tumblr ever since and never once left. It was such an abundant source of inspiration for me and on hindsight, I think that is where I started my love for all things modern Scandinavian, without me realising. Like I didn't even know there is such a style. Be it the nature, the way of life, the fashion style... now I've connected the dots and realised that I'd naturally gravitated to liking them since young.

Only with age and experience am I taught what Scandinavian is all about. I feel complete to know that I can put a word to the kind of style that I love.

No wonder I love everything IKEA (food, furniture, ambience, lifestyle, vibes) since young.
No wonder when I went to Norway, it was my paradise which I didn't know exist.
No wonder I enjoy the Twilight movies (not exactly the story) especially because the cinematic effect is so scandinavian inspired... the forests and greenery, the Cullen's house...

Some thoughtful reads:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/16/northern-lights-4 - This reminded me of that taxation class I took in Norway haha. Not everything is as pretty as it seems.

Learnt a few words today while reading articles heh, must improve my diminishing vocabulary:

• Naturalism: a style of art or literature that shows people and things as they actually are
• Feral: of, relating to, or resembling a wild beast

Stoltzekleiven, Bergen 2014

"And maybe that’s the allure of the Scandinavians: there’s an attractive self-confidence to them, a strong sense of identity, a deep connection with nature."

youth, hope and new promises

adios amigos, my first post of twenty sixteeeeeen

Belated merry christmas and happy 2 0 1 6 !

My last post was in mid December and I think it was good that way. It's the time of the year when everything and everyone is sprinting for that last lap towards year end, and I had no regrets at all being so busy. It feels good and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I spent the first few days of 2016 taking my well-deserved break upon the end of my 6 months internship with Citibank. Boy, it feels so awesome and even though I may not have done the most productive things, me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to live 2016 now definitely made up for it. No regrets!

2015 was a revolutionary year for me, and definitely a distinctive year in my growth as a person. On the first day of 2016, I'm glad I could safely say that there is nothing I did in 2015 that left me with regrets. Absolutely no regrets.

2015 also gave me 2 life changing decisions to make and both times I've chosen the path less traveled. I would like to consider myself brave in this aspect and being courageous was one of the best things that had happened all these years. I'm so proud of myself... Both dilemmas which I've been given are happy dilemmas.

1. The first one was regarding my internship. Back in Sem 2 this year I've already planned to take a 6 months internship. It was a decision I made for myself to either, beef up my resume or explore my true interests before I really try out the accounting route. However even though I applied during the sem and also after the sem, I received no news. So for the first 2 months of my summer break, I was literally hobo-ing and at a loss perhaps because I can't really fly away somewhere because what if suddenly an internship opportunities come up, and I can't really just waste my time away to keep applying when maybe it is just not the season to hire. It was really quite vexing because after exchange, i was so determined to travel again at least in summer break. But I've got to settle my future first so that have to gave way. (On hindsight, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for what I have now.)
   
   So I picked up some part-time jobs, kind of re-living my post-O/A Levels periods when we feel so shiok to have earned a few hundred dollars in a matter of days. Also took the break to really spend some me-time. I remember Sam and I went for a really last minute interview for an events job at MBS. On hindsight, it wasn't as educational as I thought then, but I'm really thankful for the opportunity to be rubbing shoulders with Americans and sharing about each other's lives. Also rubbed shoulders with many big bosses and CEOs in the aviation and satellite industry hehe. Kind of my first real insight on how networking works.
   
   So yeah, it was a good few days! Super happy to be working with Sam too even though we are located at different places. :) And then, this is also the period when the calls from Citi started coming in.
   
   The problem was, I think in July I secured an internship at SAP. And I remember how much I love the interviewer and thoroughly enjoyed the interview process. It was one of the crucial moments that grounded my liking for foreign expats in the work environment because they bring to us so much more perspectives and ideas and ways of doings things. I cannot emphasise how much I love it. I was so ready to embark my journey with them even though it's not related to what I study at all, I'll be handling the social media aspect of the company, brainstorming for ideas to help bring the employees closer on the same platform... (I am still so impressed when the interviewer really wants to use my ideas that I thought of on the spot during the interview... It's really rare to meet bosses who are so ready to pass you the power to actually implement something.)
   
   So when Citi calls me I was stumped. It was a real dilemma because my ideal internship would be in an industry close to what I'm majoring in, which is what Citi is. And ideally it would be a great platform to open my eyes to what I wish I could learn more about. Citibank is literally the ideal internship I see myself in back in Sem 2 and even though it took them 3 months to get back to me, and it means I have to forsake the opportunity at SAP which I've already accepted, it was hard to give up the offer. There were 2 offers, the first one in Segments Strategy and Management, and the 2nd one in Wealth Management's Product Control. 2015 showed me that in this pressure cooker environment, what is deemed to be good is the one that is more prestigious, and Wealth Management is the department that is most sought after by many.
   
   Just wanted to say I have no regrets choosing the path less traveled, choosing the less prestigious one taught me so much more and I'm very sure, challenged my limits so much more too. I'm happy that I fulfilled what I wanted to achieve, and also answered the questions that I want answers to at the end of the internship. It was right for me and hence yay no regrets!!!
2. Second dilemma concerns my first career. Talking about it still gives me shivers. And I'm glad the decision was well made a few months ago, thanks to my colleagues and advisors... I know it's the right decision because I have no regrets to date and I am proud of making that decision. I now believe that all good decisions are born when they have experienced their fair share of disapprovals and raised eye-brows. It's sticking to what you believe is good for you and tiding through the waves of doubts that will give you the conviction to see it through the end. That will be the most rewarding feeling ever. No regrets. I'll pray for the strength and positivity to tide through the hell times. I think not many industry can get as hellish as the one I'm starting my first career in. 

Sorry the long post! These are words I never got the time to record and so unleashing them all now. There are infinite lessons in 2015 and I guess these 2 are the bigger milestones in my life. Will share more in another post.

I feel so tired after writing all these haha. I shall take a break now and prepare for my training later on on the field! It's time I get my body moving.

What I hope to share in the next few posts:

• Citi Experience
• Family holiday to China
• Lessons from 2015 and aspirations for 2016

Ending off with this,

"Life is a beautiful collection of temporary experiences. Treasure your unique collection, and enjoy sharing it with others.'' - Matt Kahn

Thank you for reading and thank you for letting me share my life with you.