Episode 70

I am very glad I resisted and did not spoil myself for how the story would end.

That's how I can fully absorb the impact the producers would like the audience to feel I guess.

Totally cried when the story explained how Fuheng died. Definitely didn't see that this is how his character would leave this show. So quietly. So sadly. So beautifully orchestrated. (Didn't even let him say goodbye!? His last scene was him going to war at Myanmmar...)

I think of all the romance K-dramas I've watched, this love story trumps all of them.

I especially love how the story follows history (as much as they can, where they can). Together as the story slowly unfolds, I also began reading books about Chinese's history, especially about the Qing Dynasty out of interest. I reached a chapter that was about to spoil more details about the last Empress of Qianlong. Luckily I was careful to stop myself there.

Now, I can finally continue from there and google more.
And also watch the behind the scenes (FINALLY)

Merry Christmas

2013

"Your desire to leave where you are should never be stronger than your desire to live the way you want to live wherever you're currently at. Things don't magically get better or more exciting with a change in location - it begins and ends with a change in your perspective."

29 Apr 2013 |

2014

15 July 2014 | "You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again." - Azar Nafisi

23 Aug 2014 |

7 Dec 2014 |

22 Dec 2014 |

"And at some point, you just stop asking questions. And start listening. To the waves and the wind and the calls for love in all of the beautiful languages you will never understand. You just let it be. And keep moving."

29 Dec 2014 |

30 Dec 2014 |

2015

"You are a person who has feelings, who cared deeply, who experienced the closest thing mortals have to magic, and there is nothing more OK than acknowledging that and mourning it."

"Yes, it may be easier when you have someone in your corner, but I think it is important to go through tough things on your own when you're young to prepare you for even tougher situations later on."

2 Feb 2015 | "Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future."

31 January 2015 |

9 June 2015 |

13 June 2015 |

"Our life is a constant journey, from birth to death. The landscape changes, the people change, our needs change, but the train keeps moving. Life is the train, not the station." - Paulo Coelho

15 June 2015 |

29 Jun 2015

30 Jul 2015 |

"To make something of yourself you've got to know what it's like to get picked on, to be penniless, under pressure or treated like dirt. The bad times in life put a hunger in you. The dreamers and doers of the world are often those who've faced the most hardship yet found a way to flourish." - Beau Taplin

"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." - Maya Angelou

17 Aug 2015 |

29 Oct 2015 |

21 Nov 2015 |

2016

23 Jan 2016 |

24 Jan 2016 |

A few thoughts while I was away

• We live in a time when... what you set out to do, you can achieve it, more easily than ever. So why are you not stepping forward to do it? 
• It is important to slow down, write and reflect. I was naturally happier and lighter when I did that everyday during secondary school. And I intend to consciously do more of this in the new year.
• One of the best things about having a job - it enables you to start building the life that you want and to start moving a few steps closer to your ideal lifestyle
• Life isn't that difficult/scary actually. As humans, through ages of evolution, we have evolved to be equipped with the natural ability to find solutions to survive and thrive. All that I've experienced so far that caused a need for this experience, was an after-effect of being in a modern city for too long, a local work culture that can do better at valuing respectable boundaries, and a general ignorance of the society to the things that truly matter in life. The focuses and the priorities people back in my country look at are unfortunately skewed.
  
  

  

Ep 49

书法绘画琴艺，都可以后天弥补
眼界和气度却要数年浸淫

天赋不高，我就勤能补拙

蕙质兰心 - Of pure heart and spirit

化干戈为玉帛

Episode 39

I was 15 minutes into episode 40 after episode 39 ended, and I had to stop because 真的看不下去。:'(
The tragic situations happened again and again to this character and unknowingly I reached there without any mental preparation. Although I have to admit the story was built up well.

Source 1

During this scene, it was such a blissful moment, too blissful that I wish the drama ended right there. (OK to be honest I wish the drama ended long ago, as early as when Fucha Fuheng and Yingluo were happy together).

:'( why must the life of this character be so tragic I don't understand. It may not be real but I am aware that part of this story followed true history. I didn't dare to research whether the Empress during Qianlong's reign really had such a sad life because I didn't want to spoil myself. But... I believe that the Qianlong Emperor really did love Empress Xiaoxian... and that's beautiful.

She is one of my favourite character in this show and now that she is gone (I spoiled myself accidentally before finishing the episode)... I feel like there is no need to watch further because it is just going to fill me with further disappointments and negativity with all those cruel people. I can't imagine a reality like that.

Here's a celebration of this wonderful character and actress :')

Source 2-4

Source 5

"世事不会近如人意， 是人就有失败的时候， 所以你要学会耐心地等待， 等到你內心足够強大，等到有一天你不再受制於人， 等到天時、地利、人和。"

"百善孝为先"

"心中有多少怨就会有多少苦，心中有多少恩就会有多少福。"

Week of 5 November 2018

人心存良善，更应懂自保。

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《延禧攻略》十二宫训图:

1.长春宫《太姒诲子图》御笔扁：敬休内则,隐喻：教子 严谨教诲自己与孩子不要做坏事。
2. 承乾宫《徐妃直谏图》御笔扁：德成柔顺。隐喻：忠直 要像徐妃直谏唐太宗一样，在皇帝犯错的时候勇敢直言相谏
3. 钟粹宫《许后奉案图》御笔扁：淑顺温和 隐喻：尊老
4 . 延禧宫《曹后重农图》御笔扁：慎赞徽音 隐喻：勤劳 要像北宋仁宗曹皇后一样勤俭，重视农桑
5.永和宫《樊姬谏猎图》御笔扁：仪昭淑慎 隐喻：劝谏 楚庄王的夫人，樊姬看见楚王沉迷于打猎，多次劝谏帝王
6.景阳宫《马后练衣图》御笔扁：柔嘉肃静 隐喻：节俭 汉明德马皇后，生活简朴，袍衣稀疏粗糙。
7.永寿宫《班姬辞辇图》御笔扁：令仪淑德 隐喻：知礼 汉成帝想与班姬同乘辇车，被班姬拒绝
8.翊坤宫《昭容评诗图》御笔扁：懿恭婉顺 隐喻：读书
9.储秀宫《西陵教蚕图》御笔扁：茂修内治 隐喻：创新 为西陵氏之女，轩辕黄帝的元妃。她发明了养蚕，史称嫘祖始蚕。
10.启祥宫《姜后脱簪图》御笔扁：勤襄内政 隐喻：相夫 姜后因为周宣王早卧晏起，于是在永巷待罪，将发簪耳环脱下，称君王耽色，源罪于自己。
11.景仁宫《燕姞梦兰图》御笔扁：赞德宫闱 隐喻：愿景
12.咸福宫《婕妤当熊图》御笔扁：内职钦奉 隐喻：勇敢 当熊出兽栏的一刹那，在场的人均惊惶躲闪，只有婕妤毫不犹豫走下平台前去挡熊的情景。

Source 1

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所有危机，如果把握得好，就可以变成进身之阶。

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Source 2

How not to look forward to Kyoto with such a description? :-)

十个月里，一个月的故事

#1 "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important than your fear." - Ambrose Redmoon

To realise when it is time to leave a place that no longer works for you.
＊
I now understand why some people insist on ending a relationship, even when there are clearly still feelings between two people.
＊
Between staying in an uncomfortably comfortable place as opposed to moving out of your comfort zone into the unknown wilderness, I chose the latter.

Not because I am a natural risk-taker.
Not because I am fearless.
Not because I want to escape.

But because despite my preference for stability, certainty and minimised risk.
Despite my fears that things could get a hell lot harder from this point onwards.
Despite my fears of jeopardising my own future ahead because I refuse to believe it is what others would deem it to be an obvious crucial mistake.
I am surprisingly optimistic that life is not as black-and-white as what people said.

There is something I can see, feel and believe in, which is much more important and necessary than all my fears combined. Not to mention some fears may only exist in my imagination, and only in my imagination only.

I believe in a purpose and a sense of meaning greater than my fears.

If not now, then when?

#2 "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important than your fear." - Ambrose Redmoon

Q: "Hahah but thanks for telling me eh"

P: "Hahahaha why?"

Q: "You are still v v courageous girl"

P: "Not anymore if I took it back isn't it? Plus I got too many people involved in this"

Q: "No. I think it takes even greater courage to stay back hor"

后来的我们

I chanced upon a photographer's website and checked out the "About me" page, as I always do when I come across interesting profiles. He said that he insists that everyone watch the movie "Us and Them".

As it happened to be a stay-home-and-rest saturday for me and I was in the mood for a movie, I searched it up and realised it was a chinese movie. I briefly understood the storyline without going into much details and just began watching with no expectations. 

Little did I know I was headed for a sentimental, thought-provoking, and unnecessary tears-streaming-down-my-face night. 

Definitely not what I would have planned for myself tonight. 

But this is why I love stories and art, for being able to make me feel deeply. 

Even the skies and universe weep for me the entire day today.

锦绣未央

• “善报终善自己”
• 一叶障目： 一片叶子挡在眼前会让人看不到外面的广阔世界。比喻被局部或暂时的现象所迷惑。
• 毛泽东《论持久战》：“一叶障目，不见泰山，而自以为是。”
• 李陵錄別詩二十一首 其五（魏晉•無名氏）(54集引用)
  
  結髮為夫妻，恩愛兩不疑。歡娛在今夕，燕婉及良時。 征夫懷往路，起視夜何其。參辰皆已沒，去去從此辭。 行役在戰場，相見未有期。握手一長歎，淚為生別滋。 努力愛春華，莫忘歡樂時。生當復來歸，死當長相思。

Another favourite drama of mine that was inspirational and it kept me happy through peak. I truly enjoyed every 54 episodes of it. Another perfectly put together piece of art.

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Other random reads:


"Shaw liked to be paradoxical and contrary, and the paradox here is obvious. From middle age onward we observe the energy, strength and enthusiasm of young people and think, "What I could do with those. Now that I have some wisdom and maturity, I could put those qualities to good use and make something of them, rather than squandering them in childish carelessness." The paradox is, of course, that if we were allowed to be youths once again we would do exactly what we did then, and squander our youth (as it seems now) just as we did then. Of course, Shaw knew perfectly well the inherent fallacies of this and other of his dicta, but he enjoyed turning a phrase based on the painful contradictions of life."

Source: 1

fresh blank pages

I'm sure I need not explain more for how busy I've been with life for the past few months hahaha.

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Today, I just wanted to jot down this day of mine, 8 June 2018.

I think I've mentioned before how sometimes you may know things, but that doesn't mean you understand and have learnt it.

Today, I finally had a taste of why each day is a fresh blank sheet of paper in my life. I finally learnt to not let yesterday's worries and troubles have any power over today's brand new day. It is a fresh page that is full of possibilities that has yet to come, a fresh page where I have control over what I want to write and make true.

I've come to realise that bad times will come regardless of how ready or prepared you are.

I learnt that it is more effective to learn how to acknowledge it, let necessary emotions flow naturally and be quick to find a solution to act upon.

Life hit me hard lately and just yesterday something major happened which finally pushed me to the limits of my limits. For a very rare time, I wanted to surrender and give up completely.

But I am very grateful for today, for the timely #KPMGSportsDay2018, which gave me a day to break out of my usual routine.

Maybe it's the early morning basketball games // which we won all 4 games(!!!)

Maybe it's that moment at the field with the sun shining so generously upon us // there's something about watching sports on the field on a sunny day that always remind me of the gift of youth and the optimism they bring

Or maybe it's the finale relay that helped end the event on such a high note // I had such good laughs while cheering at the dino race because it was really so cute and comical to watch it live. Laughter is the best medicine and can cure everything if you let it. Don't you agree?
P.S Terribly sorry dino runners, I can imagine how tough it is to run in that suit but you guys gave your best and helped give everyone (not forgetting the little kids and children there too) a good memory to remember *CLAPS and hats off to you*

So yes... I am surprised that I can still be extremely happy today (the irony and stark contrast with yesterday's dark troubles). I am thankful that I have the choice and ability to act upon my life and change things . To let things flow and put myself out there to think less, do more, play more, enjoy more.

Each day can be a fresh blank sheet of paper.
& it is such a good thing to be grateful for because you are gifted with this reset button every twenty four hours.

Questions to the universe

Do you not take me seriously because, I'm still young?

Hello World.

It feels so good to be able to have some proper rest, to have a break/sleep last longer than 6 hours.

And so last night, which is a Friday, and I managed to reach home earlier than the rest of the week, I had dinner with my family and finally ate home cooked food. Struggling between feeling so exhausted and yet wanting to do things that feed my soul... I have no idea how but I just came across some Princess Hours stuffs and I ended up watching Episode 1 just for fun. 

And boy, all that emotions and nostalgia of my childhood and teenage past came rushing back to me. This came out in 2006 and I remember many people raving about it but that was still before K-Wave hit me. I remember picking it up and getting hooked on it ever since. Even when I watch this again today, this drama reminds me why it has a really special place in my heart because i find myself falling in love with everything about it all over again. Everything that made me appreciate the Korean Drama scene. And it is why it will be my all time favourite Korean Drama. 

It's a drama full of laughter, bittersweet and poignant moments that just gets me. 

It's something I'm very thankful for, and I remember blogging all about it when I was in secondary school (and had all the time in the world to blog and rave about it.)

Everything was brilliant and perfectly put together, from the cinematography and music especially :') Some of your favourite songs will grow out of you somehow, but this drama's OST never will. It grows on me with the years.

OH. I remember why I started watching this again. 

Because during some of the darkest and toughest moments this peak, chancing upon a re-make of the hit song "Perhaps Love" on Spotify gave me so much happiness. 

I guess, it never hurts to return back to something that once gave you so many good memories and hopeful vibes <3

Can't thank this production or what i call, a wonderfully made piece of art, enough. 

to the point I want to save the piano scores of the OST and learn to play it myself soon.

to the point I want to save the manga pages and do some colouring on my own. 

to the point I want to make covers of some of my favourite songs in the world.

lol bless my deprived creative side.

What job allows me to do all that I love?

S1E7

RACHEL: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of... 

ROSS: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.  

RACHEL: Yeah right. ROSS: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.  

RACHEL: [sigh] OK.  

ROSS: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.  

RACHEL: You don't.  

ROSS: Uh-uh. See, I see.... big passion in your future.  

RACHEL: Really?  

ROSS: Mmmm.  

RACHEL: You do?

Yeah, can't believe i'm going through my second peak again.

Times like this... I really hate work for robbing away so much from me.
You may say I can choose not to let this happen. I can choose to still prioritise and do what I want.

But I really don't know how to change the hardworking part of me at work that is driven by my desire to do as much within the shortest time possible, so that I can increase the amount of after-work free time I have in my life, to do more of the things that truly matter.

I am still trying to challenge the stereotype that we can't have a life in this industry lol.

Naive or what but it's true I don't have much of a life now again.

And to see my parents age more and more over the years...... while i reach home and become too tired to even say more than 3 sentences to them, or by the time i reach home they're already asleep... just breaks my heart.

There's just too much going on on my plate... and when I'm tired all I want to do is escape...

Need. To. Stop. Putting. My. Wants. Before. Others?

Thank you 2K17! Let me love you, 2018.

2017 - one of the most exhausting but also very beautiful years so far

This is going to be a special year in my memory, because it is the year I am 100% better now (!!!) and I actually start to grow dreams and hopes for the future again.
It's really one of the happiest years to date despite the extreme downs. I'm so glad the positives outweighed the bad by a bit!

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As I read everyone's reflections about their 2017, I don't know if it's just me, but in general, I felt that 2017 was a positive year for many! Many good things happened for people (friends getting engaged, many more people tying the knot especially in the second half of the year, graduation, people being able to find closures, strength and positivity from tough times). While some have also experienced losses and heartbreaks, somehow people are able to stand strong and find contentment still with their 2K17.  That adds to my happiness for 2017 too!

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My 2K17 in a nutshell:

• More than expected travelling opportunities- Bangkok - post-peak trip with my parents to in March. I was lucky to be able to get my leave approved in 2016 even though typically we are not allowed to take leaves from Jan - Mar. It was a first trip to treat my parents ever since I became a working adult.
  - UK & Scotland - family holiday to visit my England relatives. One of my highlights in 2017 and longest holiday I've gotten for the year.
  - TASSIE - aussietors trip! The nature and adventures just blew me away, not forgetting the peaceful moments of quiet reflection and learning to live in the moment
  - Phuket x2 - This one's for my work buddies who really made work a hella lot more bearable
• Settling better into work life 
• Learnt to laugh a lot more. Getting better at letting go in general.
• Made conscious effort to care and be with my family more. 
• Lucky enough to experience moments that can made my heart skip a beat again
• Had a lot of honest, good and mind blowing conversations with people who matter
• Met a special human being whom i know changed my life in one way or another
• Laughed a lot more and felt happiness on a level never before because of this special human being
• Felt sadness in the gut and accepted that good things may not always be here to stay for long too because of the same special human being
• Learnt to be strong nonetheless through a different person this time
• Noticed people getting more real with themselves, more real with life, being more authentic and that's beautiful
• Learnt to be courageous to pursue what I want. I had a case of 20 seconds of insane embarrassing courage - one of the proudest moments of myself this year
• Began my spiritual journey to wellness and fitness (from yoga with beryl to gym trials to eventually signing up for my first ever gym membership!!!) - one of the best decisions I've made this year

2018 - ______________________

Here's to...

1. Being more present in 2018
2. To having a healthier and stronger mind, bodaye & soul :-) 
3. Nurturing and taking of relationships with friends and loved ones
4. Continuing to be open minded and having a big big heart
5. Find out what is my gift in this world, in this universe
6. Don't be jaded.
7. Stay positive